the thing is this dashboard change isnt the end of the world ill get used to it whatever im just fucking dying of embarrassment that its supposed to look like twitter

twitter gets run over by a bus and the next day tumblr comes 2 school wearing her clothes like. oh my god come on

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOP RSTUVWXY

24/26

discovered an intriguing network of pornbots which appear to be repeatedly reblogging this picture of butter between themselves

I love all of these

Sumerian Veteran: *has severe PTSD but doesn't know it because the term won't be invented for another 5000 years* I fight the same battle in my dreams every night and my relationship with my family has fallen apart.

Sumerian Healer: *saw hundreds of veterans with the exact same affliction before* You're cursed by desert demons.

actually we have recorded texts of sumerian warriors describing symptoms that closely match ptsd, and the diagnoses was not desert demons, but rather "Those dudes you killed are still attacking you with their ghosts because you killed them"

Fucking crying over this

new and magnificent beasts will arise from the muck. trust me on this one

Rool

all tumbrlinas come from a common ancestor

The tone difference in foraging guides between native plants and invasive plants is literally so funny to read

Terry imma need examples

Foraging guide entry on native plants: Make sure you only take a small amount from a well-established patch. Leave some for the wildlife, and yourself next year! Please get involved in land restoration programs to protect this plant for the future :)

Foraging guide entry for Japanese Knotweed: RIP RIP TEAR KILL REND DESTROY EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT  E V I S C E R A T E EAT EAT EAT EAT

It’s similar for wildlife.

Brochure about native fish: Remember to only fish for approved species at the appropriate time of year and only with a license and correct fishing gear. These rules exist to make sure we don’t damage local fish populations and these amazing animals can be around for future generations!

Brochure about invasive lionfish: You can kill them with a SPEAR, you can kill them with a HOOK, you can kill them with your BARE HANDS (but watch out for the spines)…did we mention the flesh of this spicy devil fish is DELICIOUS?? Do your part for the environment and CONSUME THE PROBLEMSRIC LION OF THE SEA.

I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off